Saturday, January 31, 2009

Round 2

RINGGGGGG RINGGGGGGG… my morning unexpectedly starts with the obnoxious ringtone of my pimp nokia Italian cell, the rents are outside the front door to my apartment building waiting to give me my pillows FINALLY. Half asleep I stumble around getting ready for what was about to be one of the longest days ever. My roomies and I headed out for an espresso and a treat, then Emily and I began our homance starting with the long search for our beloved internet. For hmmm maybe at least 2 hours we wandered the streets of Florence looking for this stupid INTERNET ZONE with no sign in front on some random ass street, but we found it so who cares. Thankfully, although still carrying our lap tops we felt a metaphoric weight lifted off our shoulders and went shopping before orientation.
Of course our day wasn’t without some awkward pickups and cheesy lines. Some guy actually yelled out “oooooh sexxxyyyyy”, another selling posters of naked girls mistakenly thought I was interested in such a purchase, after his persisting arguments I reply, “thanks friend, but I’d rather just look at my self in the mirror”, finally a speechless Italian man. Em and I haggled our way into some pretty cute bomber jackets, so adorable, we finally headed to orientation, and had some minor difficulties finding our destination once again. We end up at the Florentine library, close, but no cigar. After we exited disappointed in realizing that we sorta suck at life, some ballsy italiano approaches, asking if it was us that just exited the lib. So of course I did what any female American student would do, I pretended I couldn’t understand him because I was Russian. I’m standing there while Emily is trying to figure out where to go on the phone and I just stood looking innocent and confused, finally he’s kept asking and insisting, to which I replied, “Niet”(thanks uncle chilly). Then in the most foolish obnoxious accent I think of, I said “Russia”, this toolbag starts naming cities in Russia as if it’s actually gonna effect his life asking, “Moscow? Si?” Then me and my homance just laughed walked away and went to orientation. SO BORING. Then I find out I have to take an Italian placement test, so I tried to bomb it on purpose in hopes they wouldn’t put me in a harder class, but the teacher still wanted me to, needless to say I remain in humble Italian intermediate 1.
On our way back to our humble abode, I saw the rents who just picked up my extra luggage, hung out, then went to meet the infamous Alberta. This Italian lady that was up to my chest owns a pasta specialty store, kinda like a small joe pace. For legit 45 minutes this lady is telling us how to make pasta, but she was so damn cute we politely waited, acting grateful for her repedetive explanation on every detail. Then we went next door and filled up our 2 wine bottles, one red, one white, then hit up the market and headed home. Making dinner was quite the adventure, at this time it’s my homance, Paige, Lauren and I, since Amanda went to rugby and Traci was in a coma. We made a bombass pasta dish, bread, and salad, and waited for my “boyfriend” nick to arrive. After a dinner full of eating, laughing, wine, more laughing, and more wine, we decided to make our way around the city.
One the way however, Paige, who loves the boys as much as I do, is approached by some admirer who says his name is marco, and she replies completely serious, “as in Marco Polo?” haha then we made our way to trendy BEBO where the oasis cover band played their heart out, we had a shot of absenth and some alcoholic refreshments, and came home as our bodies gave out due to alcoholic consumption and legit exhaustion. THEN LIGHTS OUT. NO PUN INTENDED.

My First day in Florence

Sooo, today is my first official day in Florence! I woke up to my alarm going off at 9 sharp… fortunately I ignored it, realizing that my roommate Amanda was gonna take the first shower and I got to sleep til 9:30…however, unfortunately for Amanda, she could took quite the spill, no pun intended, anyways this was nothing short of fantastic considering after watching 101 Dalmatians and law and order svu episodes I fell asleep after 4 a.m.. got up, took a shower, the fastest one I could just in case I ran outta hot water cuz fortunately I wasn’t in need of a cold shower one… haha, after the shower I blow-dried my crazy curly hair and met my roommate Lauren, did muh makeup, got dressed all euro like and headed out for my first day out in Florence. Lauren, Traci, and I ventured out to our first orientation, sat, listened, met up w/ the rest of our roomies, was introduced to Nick, and started our first adventure to get our long lost wireless internet. Between forgetting our money, passports and everything else you could think of, we missed the modem place which was only opened from 1-4:30, lazy asses, so we walked around for a few hours in search of an internet cafĂ© and something entertain ourselves.

Walking through the markets, we were harassed by the yard. Every few feet some Italian would shoot some lame line thinking he was gonna get somewhere. I found it to be nothing short of amusing, unfortunately, they mistakened me laughing at them for positive feedback. One example “ Excuse me, Excuse me miss! Do you speak English?”, Clearly, me thinking I’m a hardass pretended like I spoke no such language and continued walking, he continues,” Miss, you dropped something!!!”, like an idiot I turn around thinking, fuck my life, I dropped my passport, but no… “See that”, this Casanova wannabe continued, “that’s my heart, it’s on the floor”… ughh so typical. So stupid lines dropped by the moments, our new friend Nick, “my boyfriend”/personal bodyguard for the day, slammed em’ all… umm she’s my girlfriend, as he covered my cleavage w/ a pamphlet as the locals admired… so funny, kid is such a sweetheart.
As we continued our endless journey around the Duomo and got our internet, we returned to our humble apartment. Slammed our apartment for every flaw, then I headed out for the last dinner w/ the fam.
Ate and drank my heart out, then continued to Astor, a bar near the Duomo w/ Trace and our roomies/ new Italian fam.

Our personal bartender/server, Vinny/ “Casanova” was nothing short of amusing. He was a fan, and w/ our first order of drinks came free shots. He told us we could get more if we climbed on the bar and danced on the poles, but being in uggs and exhausted, I refrained and got them through nothing but charm. He kept referring to us, as “Shawties”, which was never found unfunny, no matter how many times he said it.

And asked me my name, my response, “Giovanna”… I don’t need stalkers my first night out. He asked me if I had a boyfriend, and like usual… I lie haaaa… yes Vinny, I have a boyfriend… for some strange reason he didn’t like me as much… aka no shots. So he asks if my boyfriend is alive, and I explain how he’s alive and well… later I explain how I left my boo in the states ;), then he asked if what happened in Florence stayed in Florence… so in order to get his loving attention and free shots I agreed.
We ask for more shots….” If you want free shots, we do sex” hahahahaha noo Vinny… No. we got them anyways and apparently we’re the first bunch to get 3 free shots… considering there were like 10 of us at 1 table, by the end Vinny loved us, and through some charm and sweet persuasion I got us a free bottle of champagne awaiting us the following evening, should be a sweet time… but tomorrow the heels are going on and we’ll see how much attention the pole gets… hahahaha I kid I kid, I love this place so far, let’s see how it goessss