RINGGGGGG RINGGGGGGG… my morning unexpectedly starts with the obnoxious ringtone of my pimp nokia Italian cell, the rents are outside the front door to my apartment building waiting to give me my pillows FINALLY. Half asleep I stumble around getting ready for what was about to be one of the longest days ever. My roomies and I headed out for an espresso and a treat, then Emily and I began our homance starting with the long search for our beloved internet. For hmmm maybe at least 2 hours we wandered the streets of Florence looking for this stupid INTERNET ZONE with no sign in front on some random ass street, but we found it so who cares. Thankfully, although still carrying our lap tops we felt a metaphoric weight lifted off our shoulders and went shopping before orientation.
Of course our day wasn’t without some awkward pickups and cheesy lines. Some guy actually yelled out “oooooh sexxxyyyyy”, another selling posters of naked girls mistakenly thought I was interested in such a purchase, after his persisting arguments I reply, “thanks friend, but I’d rather just look at my self in the mirror”, finally a speechless Italian man. Em and I haggled our way into some pretty cute bomber jackets, so adorable, we finally headed to orientation, and had some minor difficulties finding our destination once again. We end up at the Florentine library, close, but no cigar. After we exited disappointed in realizing that we sorta suck at life, some ballsy italiano approaches, asking if it was us that just exited the lib. So of course I did what any female American student would do, I pretended I couldn’t understand him because I was Russian. I’m standing there while Emily is trying to figure out where to go on the phone and I just stood looking innocent and confused, finally he’s kept asking and insisting, to which I replied, “Niet”(thanks uncle chilly). Then in the most foolish obnoxious accent I think of, I said “Russia”, this toolbag starts naming cities in Russia as if it’s actually gonna effect his life asking, “Moscow? Si?” Then me and my homance just laughed walked away and went to orientation. SO BORING. Then I find out I have to take an Italian placement test, so I tried to bomb it on purpose in hopes they wouldn’t put me in a harder class, but the teacher still wanted me to, needless to say I remain in humble Italian intermediate 1.
On our way back to our humble abode, I saw the rents who just picked up my extra luggage, hung out, then went to meet the infamous Alberta. This Italian lady that was up to my chest owns a pasta specialty store, kinda like a small joe pace. For legit 45 minutes this lady is telling us how to make pasta, but she was so damn cute we politely waited, acting grateful for her repedetive explanation on every detail. Then we went next door and filled up our 2 wine bottles, one red, one white, then hit up the market and headed home. Making dinner was quite the adventure, at this time it’s my homance, Paige, Lauren and I, since Amanda went to rugby and Traci was in a coma. We made a bombass pasta dish, bread, and salad, and waited for my “boyfriend” nick to arrive. After a dinner full of eating, laughing, wine, more laughing, and more wine, we decided to make our way around the city.
One the way however, Paige, who loves the boys as much as I do, is approached by some admirer who says his name is marco, and she replies completely serious, “as in Marco Polo?” haha then we made our way to trendy BEBO where the oasis cover band played their heart out, we had a shot of absenth and some alcoholic refreshments, and came home as our bodies gave out due to alcoholic consumption and legit exhaustion. THEN LIGHTS OUT. NO PUN INTENDED.